Our Journey with Celiac Disease

In honor of my sweet girl and today's special mention as Celiac Disease Awareness Day, I am going a little off brand today and sharing our story. I say a little off brand because Celiac Disease actually effects 1 in 100 and many of those cases are undiagnosed. When my daughter was diagnosed at age 5, we were told that most people are symptomatic for 7-12 years before a diagnosis. This is insane to me because the initial diagnosis for us was done with a simple blood test. The diagnosis was then confirmed through an endoscopy with biopsy, which is a low-risk outpatient procedure. 

What is Celiac Disease?

Celiac Disease is an auto-immune disorder, which can case a variety of symptoms. When someone with celiac disease eats gluten, which is protein found in wheat, barley, oats or rye, the body undergoes an immune reaction.  This is not the same as an allergic reaction. With celiac disease the immune response occurs in wall of the small intestine, and specifically the villi which line the small intestine and are responsible for the absorption of nutrients as food passes from the stomach through the intestines. If these villi are damaged, they cease to be able to do their job, and the person with celiac disease ceases to get the nutrients they need to grow and live healthy lives. 

People with celiac disease are 2x more likely to develop coronary heart disease and 4x more likely to develop a small bowl cancer. It is also associated with a host of other auto immune diseases like multiple sclerosis (MS),  migraines, anemia, infertility and a host of other things as well including a short stature. 

There is no cure for celiac disease, however it can be managed and the damage to the small intestine reduced, by the complete elimination of gluten from ones diet. 

Our Story

After year of slow or no growth in our preschooler, she began complaining of random stomach aches. I passed them off to a stress tummy because she was starting kindergarden and I was pregnant with her little sister.  The stomach aches did not abate and she was in the 20th% for heigh and weight by that point, so her doctor ordered a blood panel to test for celiac disease. The blood work indicated that yes she was having an immune response. We then consulted with a pediatric gastroenterologist and scheduled a endoscopy with biopsy which confirmed the suspected diagnosis. 

There are a whole host of symptoms for celiac disease, some of which she has had, others not so much: 

Failure to thrive

Short Stature

Brittle bones

Delayed growth/delayed puberty

Vomiting

Chronic diarrhea/constipation

Tummy aches

Fatigue

Irritability

Eczema/skin rashes

Damaged tooth enamel

Canker sores

Anemia

In general, the symptoms are associated with malnutrition because the body is unable to absorb the nutrients via the small intestine. 

Living Gluten Free

Because we are a family of 6 and all the children were fairly little but fairly independent, we chose to go completely gluten free as a family for a while. Prior to doing so however all 1st degree relatives needed to be tested. This unfortunately revealed a host of other family members (cousins, aunts, grandparents) who had not yet been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Thus our diagnosis changed the way we ate in our home, but also how family in 2 other homes ate as well.  

Once all the testing was done, we set up our kitchen as a completely gluten free kitchen. Sauces that have soy-sauce for instance had to go (it is made with wheat). Breads and mixes and cereals and all the obvious stuff was given away as well. Rather than substituting with the less tasty GF breads right away (they are less tasty!), we tried to break a little carb addition and hope that our mouths and our minds would forget how good gluten breads tasted. I also found a whole host of new recipes to try out and add to the rotation rather than trying to adapt old favorites as gluten free.  For instance instead of attempting to make my favorite chocolate chip cookies gf,  I found a recipe for gf monster cookies and gf lemon cookies that are both amazing.  

After a short while, I realized that having the entire family gf was not financially sensible. Gf substitutes are generally twice the price of the non-gf foods, and frequently are not as filling. I committed to cooking all our family meals as gf, but then also had gluten breads or cereals or baked goods for her non-gf big brothers and father. The boys were a little older so we made a deal. I would allow them to eat gluten in the house as long as they were careful not to cross contaminate. If she started with symptoms or her bloodwork showed gluten exposure we would go back to completely gluten free. As my daughter got older, she has began to really take responsibility for her diet and when she wants specific gf foods or baked goods she has figured out how to make them and make them well enough that even the boys want whatever she creates. 

As the years went on, it became much easier to eat gluten free. With the popularity of the low-carb or no-carb diets, options like lettuce wraps reduced much of the stress. Packaging began labeling things GF making it easy to find the right foods. In the last few years some grocery stores even have gf sections.  

If you are switching to a gluten free diet, there are 5 tips to help.

If you are not on a gluten free diet, and just reading this for your own edification, that is awesome! I will leave you one more though regarding how to support those around you who struggle with celiac disease. Please recognize that it is not a choice - it is a medically restrictive diet that is exhausting to maintain. It is frustrating not to have the pizza and cake at every single birthday party. It is frustrating to have to explain why you aren't eating when everyone else is digging in at a social gathering. It is anxiety producing to go to functions, weekend retreats, summer camps, friends houses and not know if you are going to be able to eat anything they provide. It is nerve wracking to travel and know that you have to pack all your own food because that special meal you requested may or may not be available, and that town may or may not have gluten free options, and your waiter may or may not have a clue what it means to be gluten free. Living with celiac disease is stressful and frustrating, but can be a beautiful way to grow in self-control and temperance. My daughter learned at an early age that just because something looks tasty and she is hungry and it is right in front of her, that doesn't mean she should eat it. This is the way she was created, beautifully and perfectly for a unique purpose, and this cross will help her to grow in holiness if she perseveres and accepts it. This is her journey and I am so lucky to be on it with her. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Argument in an Age Devoid of Reason

"Don’t confuse critique of your work, theories, or ideas, to be a criticism of you as a person."

That was the advice given to me when I was a young graduate student and researcher. This was years ago, before everyone had a platform online and before everyone who felt strongly on a topic would declare himself or herself an expert.  Now simply having opinions on a topic seems to mean one has moral obligation to change the opinions of others. We find ourselves in a time of intellectual arrogance where arguments simply need passion, and often find themselves devoid of reason. 

It was with humility that I presented that project and others that followed. I discussed the concepts and research, gained insight, refined my understanding, grew in wisdom, and developed an understanding that was greater than what I could achieve on my own. Through the process of intellectual discussion, scholarship is refined and the intellect is sharpened.

This is how ideas evolve. Understanding grows when facts and experiences can be discussed and debated without personal attack or character assassination. When we attack a person - their privilege, wealth, religion or race, rather than addressing how they came to their conclusions, we show a complete lack of intellectual integrity. 

This type of rhetoric is just one step above name calling, and is referred to in rhetorical strategy as “ad hominem”. The highest form being Central Point Refutation, when you explicitly refute the central point of the argument. When you practice ad hominem, attacking the person not the argument itself, you undermine your own argument, you set the opposition on the defense, and you loose any possibility of helping your opponent grow in understanding. Moreover, in disparaging the individual, you expose your inability to argue your point based on fact.  

Change and growth in intellect occurs through the one-on-one interactions between individuals. If you hope to change minds and influence people in the coming year, keep to the facts. Stay focused on the argument, not the individual with whom you are arguing. 

As Oscar Wilde wrote, “The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed, the probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be colored by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices”. 

Reason is required to change hearts and minds. Emotion expressed, when devoid of reason, only causes an individual to intensify their position. But this requires each of us to have sound reasoning on the issue and an understanding of the facts of the situation. As you approach a conversation, you must to be knowledgeable on the topic, rather than just passionate.  Some of that knowledge will naturally come from the conversation itself, for you need to seek to understand the views of others, before you can hope to transform their thinking. 

Minds are not changed through emotions or insult. They are changed through intellect and reason. Hearts can be motivated to raise the mind towards an issue, and emotions can help touch a heart, but it is insufficient to use emotion alone and hope to change a mind. Even if you are accurate in your assessment, insulting someone and pointing out his or her personal failings or lack of experience will do little to bring them to your side. Your argument will become “bankrupt through an over-expenditure of sympathy” (Oscar Wilde). 

May the Holy Spirit continue to guide our thoughts and conversations, and give us knowledge and courage in the coming season. 

Compressing as a Remedy for Stressing

Sometimes when a muscle or joint is super tight a therapist, rather than stretching the area, will compress it in order to get it to relax. It seems counter intuitive, but it works to help that area to relax. The other night I found myself in one of those parenting moments of heightened anxiety. Maybe it was the storm outside, or the cancelation of practices (I am horrible with changes to the schedule), maybe it was the soundtrack of our life with the thump - thump - thump of the ball against the wall and the chatter of the girls interrupted by thunder outside…regardless, I found myself in the kitchen barely keeping it together.  I took deep breathes and tried to show prudence in my response to the little loves and their requests, all the while feeling a constriction in my entire torso.  I was at that moment that I just gave in. I gave into the tightness and stress and confusion in the schedule. Rather than continuing to stretch myself I constricted. I turned inward. I grabbed my rosary and went room to room asking each of the kids at home if they wanted to join me for the rosary. Right now.  In the dinning room. I sat with my 13 year old and we just prayed. And as promised a peace came over us and over the home. There are three things in this situation which were bold and new for me.

1) I prayed in a very public space.
2) I invited the kids to join me instead either demanding it, or hiding from them.
3) I added something sacred during a time of day when I typically was simply responding to the needs of others.

Let me tell you that in moments of intense frustration, I rarely have the wisdom to turn to prayer. But just as it is counter intuitive to compress a muscle that needs to be stretched, when we are stretched beyond what we think we can tolerate, we too must compress, and rest in the Lord. And sometimes that means adding something to an already full or overwhelming situation. Rather than stripping away tasks on the list, sometimes we need to add prayer to the top.

Finding Peace in Chaos: Summer Survival 2017

I was having a hard time keeping my thoughts straight, hovering somewhere between "yeah I am fine" and "ah man I am loosing it". Two separate viruses had hit our normally healthy home in the last 6 weeks. Couple those with a jumbled up schedule packed with extras like sacraments and recitals and tryouts and house hunting all as we finished off the school year. It wasn't that we had so much more going on that normal. Being released from sports practices for a few weeks gave me much more than a few extra hours in the day. No, it was the complete lack of predictability that caused the unease. 

There are seasons in life where structure and planning and purposeful living comes easier. Then there are seasons like this.  

I was leaping into summer without any vacation plans in ink, without a master calendar dotted with ideas to structure out days, without team commitments for my three club athletes, crossing my fingers that my healthy ones would stay healthy and the sick ones would get better already. Oh and we quite literally did not know where we would call home the next month. 

I am a hyper-planner. I think I was blessed with a charism of administration. Scheduling the lives of the little and big people under my roof really brings me joy. And riding through a harried spring into a more laid back time of triple digit temperatures should be refreshing and instill feeling of relaxation. So why did I find myself living instead with a sense of dread? 

During Lent I had developed a beautiful practice of rising early to work through my BIS Lent journal. I am not a journalist by nature, but the concrete daily time for me to get grounding with God was life giving. But it is hard to drag oneself out of bed early. Having a Lenten promise to do so was the only reason I persisted. Plus I didn't want to get behind in the book. The perpetual student in me wouldn't allow for that. 

But Lent ended and the Easter season brought with it joy and celebration and the sacrifice of getting up early... well it was easy to give that up. I had an Easter season book study to do. On my nightstand, on the counter, in the car. It didn't matter where I put it. I wasn't getting done. I was sleeping a little later, checking in with social media, glancing over my email and getting the daily readings, making my coffee and going about my day. But it wasn't Lent anymore so why should I sacrifice sleep?

Gone was the time to just sit with God. 

Holy Spirit come. That was the simple prayer I would utter before opening my Lent journal. Holy Spirit come. So simple and so easy, and those were the first words each day. 

Today I woke up and instead of checking the feeds or opening my email even, I listen to God. I asked Him to give me peace.

Peace doesn't come from the schedule, or the plans, or the organization and structure of the day. Peace comes from God. He will provide peace in the days of uncertainty. But our God is a gentleman God. He doesn't force himself into our lives. He loves us from afar in those times when we keep Him at a distance. When we invite Him in closer he comes equipped with all the graces we need, ready to rekindle the holy gifts he has given us in baptism and confirmation. 

In Matthew 11 Jesus tell us 

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." 

He invites us to come to Him. He offers rest, but in the next line he offers so much more...

 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves."

He doesn't say he is going to take away our problems. He says He is going to teach us and give us rest. 

I don't want God to take away my problems- my problems are good problems. Having many hearts to love and many mouths to feed and many talents to nurture in my little ones is a joyful problem. I need him to teach me how to enter into the fullness of life without feeling weary or burdened. I need to learn how to have faith and trust so deep that uncertain and shifting schedules don't keep me up with worry at night. I need to have confidence that my children will grow through their physical suffering and if they all end up getting sick so be it. 

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light". 

The load is still there because that is life in this world. 

When we take our uncertainty, the frustrations, the worries, the sadness,whatever we have weighting down our hearts and we cast that upon the yoke of the Lord, the load is made manageable. 

I still don't know where we will be living when the next season begins. I don't know what the summer will bring. But for me, putting on His yoke each morning means starting each day with an invitation to God.

Come Holy Spirit Come. 

The Slippery Slope of Spirituality

Photo Source

If you aren't moving forward spiritually you are slipping back.  

This was a statement, a reality, a truth, that I came upon during my RCIA classes. It may have been in a book, or it may have come from a speaker.  But I loved the quote because it highlights the danger of being luke-warm in our faith- we show up to church usually and check the attendance box.  Gone to church? Yup. I am done for the week. I am a good Christian.

We all think we are more pious than we really are.  Closer reflection and prayer leads us to a more accurate assessment - reality.

For instance, I am a far cry from my monthly confession goal.  I like to think of myself putting my faith first, but there is a concrete example of me NOT doing that.  And facts are facts.

Our need to have an accurate understanding of our own spiritual life is even more important when we are raising children.

If we don't set the prime example, if we skip mass, if we don't take them to their catechesis classes or have them involved in ministry or service work, what baseline are we setting for them? Our hearts pull us closer to the church and we make excuses- no confession this week because we have that birthday party and the soccer game and there just isn't time.

The kids don't ever see the pull, the evaluation, the careful mental negotiation- all they see is the end result (confession, mass, volunteering, or birthday parties and soccer games). Of course we want to let them go to birthday parties, but sometime we need to say no and choose something that is better for them. We need to ask "what do they gain from this experience?", and "Is it worth all the running around to achieve that goal?".

Stuff is going to slide- so what do you want to be the "stuff" that slides?

As parents we have to establish the baseline - then add to that. For our family, baseline is mass on Sundays, boy involved in one ministry each (liturgical reading, altar serving), and my husband and I are each in a small group, and we adopt-a-family each Christmas. We can't do any less than that, but we can add to it...so in comes daily mass when we can, journaling, Jesse Tree during advent most years, praying the rosary occasionally, frequent confession. For many, our extras are their baseline- and that is okay. We do what we can, when we can. Maybe someday I can get to that point too. But having outlined things that are "essential and non negotiable" gives me a solid footing to build upon as we try to grow in Christ as a family.

So I ask you, what is your baseline? What are you reaching towards? What is helping you grow closer to Christ and how are you helping your children to grow closer to Him as well? Because after all if you aren't helping them move forward spiritually you are holding them back.

Thanks for stopping by!

One-on-One: Making the most of the moments

A few years ago I found myself in 'parenting' conversation with a stranger. Her children were older than mine by about 10 years and she was telling me about The 12-Year Trip.  She and her husband took each child, at age 12, on a vacation of their choosing.  Beyond the fabulousness of being able to pay for that (cha-ching!), I found myself thinking of all the great places my little ones may choose.  My husband, the realist, decided that was a little extravagant for our family.  "Besides if we have money to do that let's just take a trip alone". Which we did (read about it here). And it was awesome.




I didn't, however, forget the notion of The 12-Year Trip, and when I found out that a trip to Las Vegas was going to be necessary for my son's soccer team I admit I was probably as excited as he was.  Although it has been a pretty good year for us, the idea of getting him to myself for three nights was really attractive.  I generally attend all his games, but I usually have his sisters (and sometime brother too) on the sidelines. The idea of a weekend 1:1 interspersed with soccer and food and some Las Vegas shenanigans was pretty cool.

Seriously who looks more excited?

One-on-one all my kids are fabulous, but as a crowd they can be a little much at times even for their mother. Just sayin' what we all feel. As a family we do what we can to steal away 1:1 time with the kids. My husband does daddy dates with the girls.  He also coaches JR's team now and they get lots of time away together.  He drives the carpool for Anthony's team giving him a chance to debrief each week as well.

I take lunch to the kids at school once a week. Their lunch times are back-to-back and I can sit at their table, share the meal and chat with them and their buddies.  If we want we can take the meal outside and sit alone which we do about 1/2 the time.

When Anthony left our parish school and started attending the local charter school, I lost my lunch time with him. We still have plenty of time together in the car, but often he is doing homework and his sisters are almost always around. He is up later than his siblings so we still get more time alone with him, but I am usually exhausted then.  As he grows physically in stature I am faced with a a physical reminder of the reality that my time with him is limited.  I feel as though I am going to blink and the next thing I know I will be packing his bags for college.

With this in mind, his soccer trip became OUR soccer trip and I planned out some great fun for the two of us.  We ate at the buffet, he rode his first roller coaster, he played soccer, rested, played more soccer and ate more fabulous food. We were able to do what we wanted without negotiating the desires of four other people and I was able to appreciate a kick-back attitude that I rarely notice at home.  As the eldest he is full of opinions on how we parents his siblings and we were able to talk those through just the two of us. I pushed him though his fear and made him ride his first REAL roller-coaster.  We found an amazing patio overlooking the strip for our last dinner in town and we had a wonderful meal with his coach's family.  I goofed up on directions (I zigged when we should have zagged) and we wandered and wondered and just had fun together.  For the first time, my son really experienced a real vacation- not just a family trip.

Taking him on this trip solidified something between us.  He is on my side now in a really cool way and I am appreciating it as long as it lasts.  Our time together let him see my humanity in a way that I don't think he sees often enough at home.  At home I am the cook, the cleaner (sometimes), the taxi driver, the shopper, the babysitter... I fill a number of roles and responsibility. This trip gave him a chance to see me aside from all of those roles and I was just me. I laughed, I loved, I supported, I ate, I wandered, I was easygoing. I didn't have to wipe noses or cut up food or worry about nap times or doctor appointment.  I could have a glass of wine and watch a football game with my son and just hang out. I could venture out for a morning cup of coffee and to his delight bring back a bagel for him to nosh on in bed.

One-on-one time with your growing ones is a beautiful gift.  As they get older that 1:1 time becomes ever more important because they are able to pay attention to who you actually are when you are not being pulled in 100 different directions.  Being a middle-child, I don't remember getting good 1:1 time with my parents until I got married, had a child, and moved away. They came to visit and it really was the first time I had more than a few hours alone with them. I cherish those days we had together and I hope Anthony remembers this trip and all of our special moments together.

How can you carve our special moments with each child? What special memories do you have of 1:1 time with your parents?

Thanks for stopping by!

Growing Together in Christ with Blessed is She

About once a month I send you all a lovely little Facebook message to let you know I am the writer of the day for Blessed is She.  Blessed is She is the online community that sends the daily reading and devotional to your inbox while you sleep each night. I love Blessed is She because it has allowed me, for the first time really, to get into a routine of reading God's word daily.  Behind the scenes as a writer, it has been amazing to get to know 50 or so powerhouse Catholic women who work as writers or editors or graphic artists or photographers.

Jenna, our founder and creative director, wants our Blessed is She community to grow in depth not just numbers, so she is working with the writers to create webinars now too. Bonnie Engstrom will be giving the first webinar on July 12th on the topic of Building Intentional Communities. I love this idea because it will give the readers a chance to start engaging with the writers and one another in real time albeit still over the web.  I will be hosting a session on Intentional Parenting in December and there will be various topics at least once a month for paid subscribers.

Yes, I used that word. Paid subscribers.  In order to grow the community we need to have a consistent revenue source.  People say the web is free but it really actually isn't when you have a web presence as large as BIS.  For $9.99 a month or $99 a year you get the monthly (or more) webinars, plus we will send you the Advent and Lent journals automatically shipped to your door.  No more having to order them before the season starts (and find your purse and type in all those numbers).  Just sign up once and you will have access to everything.

Side note: If you haven't actually been to the site you should just check it out. They have some really beautiful stuff in their store too!

I hope you will join me in joining the Blessed is She community and together we will continue to grow in Christ.  Click here to join! 

Midas and Me: On becoming a Dog Person

Don't let the photo fool you. I have never been much of a Dog Person. My family had enough of them. Them meaning dogs and Dog People both.  My parents have always had a dog or two - very well behaved dogs I might add. My siblings have usually had a pair a piece as well. When we had been married just a few months, my husband decided it was time for a dog. I always knew I wanted my kids to grow up with a dog, so I guess that meant we had to get one. I wasn’t really ready for the responsibility, but he was so we took the plunge.

I was rather neutral on the subject for most of our time together.  Our meaning the dog and I. I have never been neutral with my husband. Flint, as we named him, was a great dog. Like amazingly awesome. A full-bred Black Lab, he lived for the tennis ball, the water, and the family. That was really it. He was smart and well trained and loveable. After more than a dozen years we had to say goodbye and it broke my husband’s heart. You can read that sad story here.   

Now remember me saying that I wanted the kids to grow up with a dog… well here we were with four kids (aged baby to tween) and no dog.  So of course we had to get another one. It wasn’t just that the kids were begging for one, it was that I really think dogs add something special to a family. I wasn’t sure why, because, again, not a Dog Person, but I just knew we needed to move towards getting another one.  A year passed.  My husband wasn’t ready. Another year began and I decided it was time.

Everyone told me I was going to be the one doing every thing- feeding, walking, poop-scooping, whatever. It was all going to fall on me.  And they were mostly right. 

My husband said ‘he won’t be as awesome as Flint because Flint was the perfect dog”, and he was sort of right too. Flint was our dog – his and mine.  We raised him and brought him through puppy hood before we had kids.  We practiced our parenting on him.

But now we are parents, in the most active parts of parenting, and we have this dog. This huge puppy.  And it is different. Midas is my dog.  He isn’t my kid’s dog, he isn’t my husband’s dog, he isn’t our family dog.  He is mine. I don't know how it happened that way, but it did. And that is okay. We mostly have shared responsibilities for the daily stuff.  But I am the one whose heart he has captured. 

From the first moments when he crawled into my lap, to the moments now when he just quietly follows me from room to room while I go about the tasks of motherhood, he is mine.  And I am his.  He is the one to greet me when I come home to a quiet house after dropping the kids at school.  He is the one to follow me into the bedroom at night.  He has learned where he can lay and watch me cook, and when he needs to go to his own spot. I know that in the years to come he will be a source of comfort and companionship. When the kids leave home for college, Midas will very likely still be there, at home, waiting for me.  He won’t move on to cooler, better, more grown up things. I will always be enough for him.

Although he is another mouth to feed and he adds tasks to my schedule, he is never a source of guilt.  Midas is happy, truly happy with what ever I have to give. And I have to admit it is kind of nice being able to escape the chaos of the house a few days a week for a really long walk with Midas. As a mom, I of course feel like I am never able to do enough or be enough, and yet looking at him I see unconditional love. What ever I have to give is enough.    And that is pretty cool. 

So to all you dog lovers out there – I get it now. I am not sure I am ready to dub myself a Dog Person, but Midas is working on me a little at a time.  

Thanks for stopping by!  

How to Survive the Seasons of Motherhood: Redefining Your Normal

When my firstborn was about 6 weeks old, I sat at my kitchen table and sobbed.  I was on the phone with a friend who had two older kids.  She had just told me I wouldn't ever sleep again.  I was ToTheBoneTired, and maybe without thinking I had asked "but how much longer before I get some sleep?".  I was really glad she was so honest with me though because it helped me realize something.

I had to stop trying to reclaim my past life and instead I needed to redefine my normal. 

I thought I had hit my groove a few years ago. With each child I had adapted and been able to keep up well enough.  I was mothering three little-ish ones, was able to make dinner most nights, founded/ran a pretty decent mothers group at our parish (read more here). I was in a neighborhood bunko group, had a cool book club, went to MOPS, and managed to work in a date night as frequently as we could find a babysitter. I didn't know it at the time, but I had it really good. I was able to duck away about one night a week for 'me time', get to the gym regularly during the day for a little break and shower, and even have a regular lunch with friends (and our kids) on occasion. 

I mistakenly assumed that this was what motherhood was going to be like forever.  The advent of our little Anna changed everything, but honestly it would have changed even if I hadn't had her.  I had just turned over leadership of my mom's ministry and helped create a new ministry for women at our parish. My new baby showed me I really could only have 'one baby' so I backed out leadership there too.  My bunco group conflicted with the boys sports, my book club just wasn't worth all the hassle.  Lunches out became too much of a struggle with a gaggle of kiddos and the expense of feeding two growing boys made it extravagant even when they were well behaved. 

The Awesome Nellie from WhoaNellie Photography took this photo. 

Check out more of her work by clicking here. 

So I have to redefine normal again. Normal is no longer taking care of the family and filling the spare time with stuff that I love doing.  It is no longer taking a shower every day or grabbing lunch with a friend.  


It is school projects and soccer/dance/gymnastics/piano, homework and groceries. And laundry laundry laundry. I have become a TwoCart Costco shopper and nothing that is easy before seems easy anymore.  

It is as if my 24 hour day has been slowly shorted.  Just a few minutes each day.  Like my LifeClock is fast and I always think I have more time, but each day I have just a little less.

So I sleep less, I wash my hair less, I shop less (unless it is for food or done online), I make more lists, I exercise when I can (usually with children or dog in tow), and it takes me forever to finish a book. I find ways to volunteer that are short-term, low risk, and low stress, and most importantly done as a team with people I love. I write when I can and try not to stress about the weeks that have gone by since my last blog post. 

The Awesome Nellie from WhoaNellie Photography took this photo. 

Check out more of her work by clicking here. 

My challenge at this stage is recognize that this too is a stage, and find the beauty in the chaos. My time of having one child in Jr.High, one in Preschool, and two in between will be short.  Even though we aren't able to have more kids (more about that here), I recognize that I will need to stay open and maybe even embrace the changes that come with family life. Six years from now (God willing) I will only have 3 kids to tuck in at night.  It is a scary thought but at the same time comforting, because I know that there is no way I can maintain this pace for more than a few years. But I don't have too, because it is just a season. 

Whatever your season in Motherhood, embrace it sister. Don't stress about it. Realize it is the normal for this time, today and tomorrow, but your normal will evolve into something new.  Embrace the challenge and know that you will grow into the newness. The newness brings opportunity to grow, to grow in Faith, to grow in virtue, ultimately to grow in Motherhood. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Beauty for Ashes: A retreat recap

Well Friends, I am back.  A little blogging break, unintentional but necessary due to continued rest and recovery, sick kids, spring breaks, birthdays, and a little retreat planning thrown in as well.  But after an amazing retreat experience I am back.

The first Blessed Is She retreat has come and gone and it absolutely rocked my world.  Over 150 women from across the nation gathered together to rest in His word, His presence, and His sisters.  We had amazing speakers and some pretty good food too.  Here were my highlights...

1- Music by Ike Ndolo and Rachel LeBeau... We got them all weekend!  And for the closing time and adoration they were joined by some musicians who used to tour with Matt Mahr... The price of the retreat ticket was worth just the music alone!

2.  Sisterhood & Sisterwives.. So we are all sisters in Christ right?  We are actually Sisters in that we are daughters of the King... but we are all called to an intimate relationship with Christ as well.  He is our beloved.  And in some way that sort of makes us a special kids of Sisterwives.  We are all lovers of the same Christ. I got to meet some friends that I had connected with only online.  I got to meet new sisters in Christ and got to grow closer with old friends as well.

3- Being surrounded by True Beauty.  The fabulous lady in charge of food and decoration (not me) had a vision of beauty for this retreat. It was a hippy-ish, outdoor-ish, fresh and natural beauty.  We hung hundreds of vines from the ceilings, had twinkle lights all over, and handmade flower crowns for the attendees.  And these ladies wore the crowns all day - like for 14 hours!  Looking out at the beautiful faces crowned with flowers and shining with love of Christ was glorious.

4- Mass with a bunch of Chicks instead of with my little chicks.  I went to a women's college and I know the impact that being around women all day has.  I had never really thought of that in terms of mass however.  The priest (who was just amazing by the way) was able to really tailor His homily to US - to Women - and it was the best homily I have ever heard.  He spoke of Jesus as our protector in such a beautiful way.  And I wasn't distracted by my little chicks like usual so that helped too!

5- Adoration... Being in the presence of the Lord is of course The Highlight of the weekend, but we actually had a whole day to prepare our hearts for him.  Unlike my usual popping in to visit Him in the hustle of the day, this adoration followed a day of reflection, of praise and worship, and mass.  Our hearts were softened all day and minds were turned to Him.  We were ready for Him.  Confession was available during the day and so for many women they were able to do confession, mass and adoration all within a few hours.  We were longing to spend time with Him.  And then the priest totally rocked my world when he brought the monstrance around!! We were able to touch the hem of the cloth that surrounded the monstrance and gaze upon Him 1:1...it was amazing.

If you weren't able to attend the retreat this year look for it again next year.  It will be small and intimate again. The speakers were great this year and I am sure will be great again next year.  Heather Renshaw gave the keynote and you can hear it here.  If you aren't connected with Blessed is She online yet go here to get the daily devotion and the weekly note from Jenna, the Beautiful Soul behind this ministry.

Thanks for stopping by!

Villainous Vegas Vacation

I recently spent a long weekend in Las Vegas, on The Strip, with my 12 year-old son.  This was not my first (or second or third) choice of venue, but we were traveling with his team for a soccer tournament.  After Facebooking (can I make that a verb?) my awesome Blessed is She sisters in the Southwest Region, I had enough tips for the trip to feel adequately equipped to deal with our trip to Sin City.  Las Vegas is a beautiful place surrounded by snow tipped mountains and blue sky.  The Strip was less beautiful and provided the backdrop for a lesson on the various dangers of gambling, lust, greed, gluttony and general hedonism. Places like Las Vegas prey on the weak.  They provide the invitation to sin, not just normalizing but encouraging immoral behavior.  Think of their slogan “What happens in Vegas stay is Vegas” - it is a statement of permission that normal rules (and morality) should be suspended. Although surroundings can encourage and facilitate sinful behavior, the evil driving our own sin comes from within each of us. 

In the book of Mark (7:23), Jesus instructs us that evil comes from within, not from outside.  

“But what comes out of the man, that is what defiles him.

From within the man, from his heart,

come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder,

adultery, greed, malice, deceit,

licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly.

All these evils come from within and they defile.”

Places and situations are not responsible for our sins – WE are. WE make the choices to engage in the sinful behavior that is harmful to our souls.  If we can accept that we are personally responsible for the choices we make, and that the evil comes from within, not outside, then we are intellectually and emotionally better equip for battling that evil. 

Surrounding ourselves with people and situations that will help us in our battles against sin is helpful and prudent, but it is not the only way to deal with the evil within.