The Mosts Posts for 2014

Happy NewYears!   I recently discovered that one thing bloggers often do at the end of the year is post a special recap, or highlights of the year.  A year in review or something of that nature.  This is my first New Years as a blogger, but I decided to give it a try with a "Mosts Posts". 

I have collected for you the Most Read, Most Commented on, Most Controversial, Most 'Missed' post etc.  Just click on the post title and it will take you to the post and you can check it out yourself if you wish.  The only one not there is the Post-Not-Written… that post would be the post How to Get Your Child to Eat Veggies.  I am still working on that post... Look for that next year maybe.

Most Read
God's Baby Shower  This was a heart warming post about a heart breaking topic.  This past year two of my friends have given birth to and then buried their babies.  Both Baby Leo and Baby Lily were born with anacephaly.  They were born about 6 months apart to two different beautiful, strong, faithful and loving mothers.  Their mothers carried them to term and then delivered them with full knowledge that if they survived delivery, they would likely not live much past their "birth-day".   The post here is about the baby shower we threw for Leo's mother shortly before she delivered Leo.  Lily's story has been told beautifully by her own mother who blogged through out the pregnancy (click here for that story). 

Most Controversial
Daycare Vs. Mother care: Neglecting the researcher and putting stay-at-home moms in the crosshairs. Well I am not sure what to say on this one.  I opened a can of worms.  Anytime you criticize a political figure you are going to tick someone off.  My main point (as pointed out in the subtitle), is that we should let research guide our decisions.  Plus I wrote it while I was mad. I really do feel the need to defend women's decision to stay-at-home.  As a very highly educated woman, I don't think we throw away our education when we spend most of our day raising our kids.  So yes, this post got some people mad but it was bound to no matter what I said, just because the topic is so touchy! Which is why I think it is SO essential that people understand the research and don't make purely emotionally driven decisions or arguments. But then that is THE major of the point of this blog -  To bridge the gap between research and the home!

Most Commented On
Daycare Vs. Mother care: Neglecting the researcher and putting stay-at-home moms in the crosshairs.

Runner up for Most Commented On
Shamefully Shoeless  This is the post that started it all and got me into blogging on my own site. What is it about parenting that makes strangers think they have the right to barge in ?

Most Difficult to Write
Laying Flint to Rest  I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous, but after 14 years with our pooch it was heartbreaking to lay him to rest.   This post is about how to go about making the choice to put an animal to sleep.  

Most Funny
Nit-Picking on Mother's Day  I am not by nature a very funny person. I have a good sense of humor I think, but it is more of a dry humor.  I like British comedy and Physical comedy.  Both Faulty Towers and I Love Lucy crack me up.  But me, myself personally, not one for jokes.  But this post was funny and maybe it is my only funny post!

Most Missed
No Pushing or Shoving - Knowing when to back off your kids
                                         AND
The Importance of Teaching Delayed Gratification

I loved both of these posts. The second gets a little heavy into the research but both give concrete things that you can do to improve your parenting. I am not sure why this got missed by many viewers but it is worth checking out. 

Most Brainy
Unlocking the Pre-teen and Adolescent Brain  I love this one because it points out that kids at this age are basically brain damaged.  My husband and I need that reminder when we see what our young man-child does sometimes!  He is getting used to us calling him brain damaged but he read the post so he gets the joke.  

Most Resonating
Image Crafting  This post has stayed with me for a while now.  Whenever I post photos I think of this post and wonder if I am, to any degree, contributing to unhealthy image crafting.  I think writing it has helped me stay honest in my portrayal of our life. 

And that wraps is up for this year!  I will have lots of good stuff for 2015 God willing.  I am going to try to figure out how to use photos better and will work on improving the site a little.   I am going to do some link-ups with other great bloggers and have a few guest posts too.   Please pray for me in the coming year... I will be praying for you!  Thanks for stopping by and for supporting this growing blog!

Our Failures and Reducing the Stress in our Lives

At the beginning of mass, Catholics have the benefit of being led through an Act of Contrition.  This is time when the priest calls us to consider those things we have done in the past week, (or failed to do) which have not brought glory to God.  Because we will be going before the table of the Lord it is important that we do so with a clean heart. Each week I generally find myself asking for God's forgiveness for the same things... Lord forgive me for being impatient, for being quick to anger, for using harsh words etc.  If our sanctuary were a cartoon, I am sure the word bubbles above the heads of the parishioners would be a little different, but many parents would have similar failings to confess.

And so it got me thinking about my in ability to stop falling into the same sins again and again.  I know each time I go to reconciliation and confess before a priest I have the double benefit - I gain forgiveness and I get guidance from him as to how to avoid falling into that trap again. But in-between the trips to confession, this weekly reflection is an opportunity too so see what I need to work on this week in particular.

Before I get any further here time for a disclaimer.  When we talk about sin - that is a willful disobedience of God.  Loosing your temper, or feeling impatient is not generally a sin.  However, willfully choosing not to improve upon those personal tendencies could be, if you are choosing willfully not to be a kinder, more patient person.  So when I say personal reflection leads me to want to stop sinning in this area, it is avery personal journey I am on because I do want to stop hollering in my house.   Hope that makes sense. I just don't want any of you all out there to think you need to call a priest for confession because you were impatient with your child today.  We all are in need of His grace to get through it all daily! Now back to it...

I am so tired of the same failings, and so this week I am addressing these issues like a scholar.  In doing so, I have identified that many of my guilt results from inappropriate reactions brought on by my own stress level.

I snap at the kids because I am behind schedule for meals, I over-react because I don't have the patience to tell them ONE MORE TIME the same things I have been telling them all day.  I ask the kids to do something (brush your teeth) but then I get caught up in another task (making coffee) and don't follow through to see if they have done their job - only to find they haven't completed such task and WHAMMY.  Mom is instantly mad.  If I had just monitored them little more and helped them brush their teeth instead of trying to duck away make coffee or put away the food from dinner, all would be okay.  But the stress of the mental ToDo List compels me to try to fit just one more 'thing' into the schedule ahead of the parenting task.

When I researched teacher-stress in the schools, I came across some great research.  One of the scholars (forgive me for not citing it as that was 12 years and 4 kids ago) pointed out that when you are under stress, or find a situation to be difficult, you can either remove the stressor, remove yourself, or change your perception of the situation.

Turning around a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad start to the day...

I woke up with a huge zit on my chin, my favorite hair clip broke, my good jeans missed the wash, and JR "forgot" he is student of the week- he has to color his entire poster about himself and we have to leave in 30 min. His siblings and I were supposed to send nice letters to school with him today for his folder, but I think it best that we send that tomorrow since he JUST TOLD ME ABOUT IT .  I didn't have time to pack my gym bag or have breakfast and I got a migraine.  I spilled on my slippers, got a bolt dug into my tire, forgot my phone, and forgot to put dinner in the crockpot.  This is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to start the day.

If you don't have this book get it.  I love it as much as the kids do!

I think I will move to Australia.

Or go to mass and rosary.

Yesterday, our Very Hard to Understand Priest said something that I actually understood  (literally and spiritually).

Advent Update and Other Stuff

It has been while since I posted, so I wanted to check into my cyber world and let you all know all is well.  I am working on a few posts, mostly writing in my head and then forgetting them, but they are there somewhere.  

Instead of writing I decorated the house, went to a fancy party and stressed about not fitting into my dress, wrote our Christmas letter, took my online "safe environment training" for volunteering with the church and school, cleaned out the playroom, snuggled with my new niece, and I am trying to get to morning mass a few days a week.  Rather than talking about baby fever (did I say baby fever?), let's focus on cleaning out the playroom…


When I say cleaned out the playroom I mean REALLY cleaned it out.  Three bags to the trash, two loads to donate, one load to the consignment store.  We ended up with about 1/10th the stuff and it feels SOOOO good.  I don't post photos of my house much, mostly because I am not a very good photographer, but also because although my house is generally clean, I am the queen of piles. Since I am not big into image crafting, I would rather you not see the pile of books I need to research, and the Christmas cards I need to address etc, and the movies I borrowed and need to return etc… But this is a huge change for me and it is already cleaned so it is post worthy.  Now that I see the photo in the blog I notice that I really should have run the vacuum because those puzzle pieces are flaking off… but ignore the little stuff on the carpet.  I will vacuum right before my Godson comes over tonight lest those mini-pieces get put right into his mouth... 

My husband asked why it was easy to clean out the room it without him. We usually work well as a team, but not when it comes to getting rid of stuff.  He is a minimalist, and although I would like to be one, I am not.  I am trying.  I don't come by it naturally.  

When we go though things together, with hopes of de-cluttering, it is always MY stuff that is problematic, and I am always defensive.  Sometimes, if I have kept something for a while (like the roman blinds I still haven't actually made, but cut out and got prepped to make for a window in my old house), I think that I have to continue to hold on to it until I actually use it.  Otherwise I have to accept that it was dumb to move it from one house to another (which of course it was dumb).   So I guess there is some pride element there I need to work thought. 

But the playroom thing was easy.  It wasn't my stuff, and I had a friend help me.  She used to work in a consignment store so I trusted her "toss", "keep", "donate", "give to cousins", or "sell piles".  I also didn't get mad when she harassed me for having broken toys and the like saved for so long because she was doing ME a favor and she was right.  It was a lot of JUNK!  It took 6 hours (with both of us working) but we got it done and it is great now!

The kids are fine. Great actually.  Anna has taken a recent liking to puzzles (maybe because she can now find them) and is fighting sleep (a post in the making there) so we take the good with the bad.  



They loved the playroom when I was done and I gave the boys each $5 from the stuff I sold at the consignment store.  The girls got a little stuffed animal from my trade money and I still ended up with some green in my wallet.  The kids wanted to know why they didn't get ALL the money since it was all their stuff.  I told them that next time if THEY do the work, they will get all the cash.  We will see if that works.

The school semester is gearing up for an end and it is always challenging to write during the breaks but Santa MAY bring me a laptop this year to help with my computer access and blogging.  I have been MOSTLY good in the ways that count and when I am not I do try to make up for it.  Like a few nights ago... after I had a Bad Mommy Moment during bedtime reading:

Me-  I am sorry I am really hard on you at times.

Gracie-  That's okay mamma.

Me- I know you are really really well behaved almost all the time, and I just expect that you will always be like that.  When you aren't, I just snap… I know that isn't fair.  Am I perfect honey?

Gracie-  No

Me- Are you perfect?

Gracie-  No. Only God is perfect.

Me - That's right.  But do we love each other anyway, even though we aren't perfect?

Gracie- (big hug) Yes mamma.  

I feel some days like the biggest lesson I am learning during this stage in parenting is how to live with my imperfections while still striving each day to BE (and do) better.   I pray you all are BEING better each day and learning to love your perfection found in your everyday imperfections.  Because after all, if we were perfect we wouldn't need Him!  

Thanks for stopping by!

A Better Kind of Christmas Lists for Kids

This year we are trying something a little different with our oldest two boys (aged 8+ and 11).  Anthony and JR love to search endless for fabulous gifts to put on their Christmas Lists.  They have their lists done on the computer now, color coded for priority with a lovely key at the top.  This allows easy access for this online mamma shopper (Anna is not fun in stores now), and it allows them to add to the list at any time.  Anthony's includes this…

Please just remember what 
Christmas is all about. 
Notice: Any gifts will be accepted, 

but this is my preference. 

(AKA; it’s the thought that counts, 

and I’ve never known my family 

to give me anything I did not have

 any use for or enjoy.)

Well, it is nice to have that disclaimer since he is certainly not getting everything on his list, and will get much that is not on the list (like socks since he keeps stealing ours).  

Usually I try to have most of the shopping done before Advent, but in my attempt to simplify I have done much less shopping in general this year and have very little in my gift/craft closet.  Last year I did NO shopping because of my little fall, so I really do need to add a little cash to our economy this year.   My thought is that I can do online shopping easily this year and go for quality rather than quantity… we will see.  Anna is a handful in a store as many of you with kids in the 1- 4 age range probably relate to. 

Back to the topic at hand.

I drew Anthony away from his web surfing for 'stuff' and requested that he write out a list of all the things he is planning on giving others.  

HIS DWELLING SHALL BE GLORIOUS - Is 11:10

The first reading for today ends with the phrase

"His dwelling shall be glorious".

The advent journal I have from Blessed is She poses the questions :

"How is God's dwelling physically different than ours? 

How do we imitate His?"

It is a beautiful thing to reflect upon so I wanted to share my reflection with you and hope you will share yours as well below in the comments.  

My first reaction is "God's dwelling is perfect in every way".  Doesn't it have to be?

When I look around at my physical dwelling place, I see all the mess.  I don't see the beauty.  I see my son's shoes on the floor in the kitchen, rather than the gift of having healthy and energetic children.  I see toys spread out, rather than seeing bounty when others have little.  I see clothes that need to be folder and put away rather than recognizing another chance to be thankful that I always have adequate ways of clothing my family.  I see dishes that need to be washed, when I should see an opportunity to give praise that in our home no one goes to be hungry.  

God's dwelling place is perfect - and He physically dwells in me every time I take the eucharist, so then aren't we too perfect in our imperfections?

How do we imitate His dwelling place? Maybe by reinterpreting what we see.   Don't look for the faults in our physical space or in our own bodies.  See the beauty and grace that surrounds us. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Four little things I learned while I was sick

I really thought that I had more sense than to get sick. Taking care of one sick kid, or even two at once is okay.  It gives us the chance to shine (in a twisted way) as mammas.  Mamma is the “only one” who can do it “just right” when a child is sick.  I still want my mamma when I get sick.  

But being sick yourself is rotten- not just because of how you feel, but also because when you live a life of service- people miss you when you are out. 

After my run of a virus this month,  here are 5 little things I have learned while being sick:

1. Anyone can put food on the table, but it takes a mom to put together MEAL.