Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Mommy Time Outs

I am a big fan of telling my children "Mommy needs a time out".  I will admit it doesn't happen as often as it should. Plenty of times I say things or do things when I should just walk away and cool off.  But when I think of it, I will tell them I need a time out.

This Fall God, yes, as in God the Heavenly Father, put me in a time out.

And it was really needed.

I have a tendency to get really involved in things.  Really involved.  As in way too involved.   I am a do-er and a delegator, but mostly a do-er. And it is the worst at church things.  I thought I was learning to say "no" when I finally gave up the reigns leading a ministry I started up a few years (and 2 kids) ago.

I thought that once I turned over leadership I would be able to walk away.  Nope.  There was still stuff to do.  So I stayed on to help with two events.   I was unable and honestly unwilling to say no.  I needed to feel needed.  I needed to be 'indispensable'.

Even if I wasn't in charge anymore, I still felt compelled to work myself into injury, because that is how I do things.

The week before the consignment sale I jumped off a ledge in the church attic and twisted my ankle.  Well actually I did more than that. I didn't know it right away but I completely tore one ligament and partially tore the other.  I wasn't doing anything heroic.  It wasn't exciting.  It was really lame.  Urgent care, surgeon, X-ray X-ray X-ray, surgery, pins, stitches, PT, PT, PT.  6+ months post surgery, and 4 months post injury and I am not yet 100%.  Doc told me it would be another 2 months before I could TRY jogging, and another 8 before I would be 100%.  You see when they go into your joint to put in those pins and stitch you up they also drain out the fluid.  They don't put that back in.   So for the next year it will be achey and "tired".

Here I am in a wheel-chair 4 days post injury, wheeling between my daughters All-Saints Party (which I am supposed to be doing) and the Hall where we have the event.  Not smart.  In my defense this was before I saw the foot specialist.  I still thought I just had a bad sprain.

Weeks on the couch, weeks on crutches,  surgery, months of pain and I get it.  I need to take it easy.  As they say I need to DO less and BE more.  I need to talk less and listen more.  I need to run less and walk more… or even better just sit in His silence.

It is so hard to move from a Do-er to a Be-er.  I think the writing helps.  Having a husband with limitless energy and very little judgment about how I spend my time helps as well.

I am thinking more and more that my MommyTimeOuts need to be less reactive and more proactive.  Instead of getting upset and 'walking away' maybe there is something I can do to prevent the getting upset.  If I give myself time out from the craziness every week then maybe I will be just a little more patient, more aware, less rushed.

So starting this week I am taking some time for me.  I am going to start with 30 minutes this week and try to double it next week.  This is 1 hour to do just what I want to do.  Maybe it is reading or praying, maybe flipping through a magazine or taking a nap - maybe it is organizing my pantry or cleaning off the top of the washer.  It doesn't have to be 'wasted time', but it also doesn't have to be 'productive time'.

Just committing to having that one hour, my Mommy Time Out, gives me something to look forward to during the week.  It is really exciting to think of having an whole hour to myself that I don't have to account for!  It is a luxury. And a luxury that stressed out people don't have.  Who is with me?  Anyone else need a Time Out?

Thanks for stopping by!

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