Boy's Adventure Race

A few months ago, before school got out and the heat set in, Anthony was invited to a Boy's Adventure Race.  Adventure is something that we seem to be lacking in our family.  Growing up we had a healthy dose of it.  My family's our chosen summer vacation each year was Lake Powell. We would spend hours swimming, hiking, exploring the canyons and generally just relaxing in God's Big Playground.  We didn't do this in an opulent houseboat.  We camped on the beach, got sand in everything, hunkered down and held onto the tentpoles in the monsoon storms, and watched the waves and weather before heading out in my dad's little boat.  They were character-building experiences. When we weren't at the lake, we were camping at remote spots in the woods - replete with bears and snakes and spiders oh my. The beauty of His world and the danger posed by nature were two realities that was clearly evident my early years whenever we would venture out. 

This is not something that my kids have experienced much.  I married an amazing man who is not fond of the outdoors.  We don't own a cooking stove, although I think we probably have a tent somewhere in the garage. Sharing a sense of adventure with my kids therefore has been a bit more of a challenge, particularly since I would rather sleep on a bed of feathers than a bed of pine needles.  I have taken the kids camping a few times with my family, and they boys went with my brother this summer, but other than that they have been a bit lacking in the adventure department. So when I got the invitation for Evan to join a friend's team I responded yes without even asking him.

Is Education Wasted on a Stay-at-home Mom?

(Original photo source)

"If my daughter got any degree and then just became a stay-at-home mom, 

I would insist that she pay me back for the money spent on her education."

  

That was just one of the snide remarks I have heard about well-educated stay-at-home moms.  Before we had children, before we got married, before I even entered graduate school, I struggled with the seeming incongruity between my desires for higher education, and my desires to be present in the home while my children were young.  I knew I wanted to learn more and continue with my education, but I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Was my education going to be just wasted if I didn't earn an actual income?

Can Moms be be Smart and Good-Looking Too?

When I was about 16, we had a substitute one day in our math class.  Math was never my strong suit, but on this particular day I was able to answer a tough question.  I raised my hand, went to the board, and completed the problem.  As I walked back across the room, the male teacher commented

"Well, seems as though you are smart and good-looking too"

I. almost. died.

Right there.

In front of everyone.

The class laughed a little as my face turned a beautiful shade of scarlet.  I could feel the heat coming off my entire body. Lucky for me I was seated near the front so I was able to get to my seat fast and keep my face straight forward.  I will never forget that embarrassment.

Of all my memories of adolescence, that stands out as my most embarrassing moment.  It was worse than the time in jr. high volleyball practice when the back seem in my tight white capri's split.  That was just funny although it was pretty embarrassing.

But "Smart and Good Looking Too"?  

From a teacher?

That phrase has remained a reminder of a chauvinistic attitude that finds it odd that someone be attractive and smart.  As if it is something one only hears about in legends.

Like mermaids,  or unicorns or fairies.

Boys in Pink Skirts and PigTails

Sex, Gender, and Identity Development

This week a friend asked me to write about boys and gender identity.  Well, actually, she asked me for advice regarding s 3 year old’s classmate who wears pink skirts, sparkly shoes, hair in pig-tails -and is a boy.  Honestly is it painful to try to lay this out in one blog piece because it is such a HUGE topic. 

But it is easiest if we tease apart some terms first:  Sexual Identity is whether you are a male or female.  Gender Identity is a continuum of masculinity and feminity.  You can be more effeminate man and still be a man.  Self-concept is how one feels about their identity. We aren't really going to talk about Self-concept but it is my area of specialty so I figured I would throw that in too. Bonus for today.