Answer Me This end of summer

The last edition of

1. What's your favorite grocery store splurge?

Fresh berries and cheeses. In the summer i get used to such good berries for such  good price and then the prices skyrocket and the quality plummets.  I try to eat stuff seasonally, but every now and then I just want a pint of berries!  Cheese are my year round splurge.  I love a good Gouda but I am the only on the family who really loves cheese so it is a splurge for sure!

2. How's your penmanship?

My penmanship is horrible. And so is my spelling. Put that together and things I write by hand look like they were composed by a middle-schooler.  My handwriting is also inconsistent. I never really developed a style. 

3. Do you have a "Summer Bucket List?"

My Summer bucket list: swim with kids, take big trip with Husband, take little trip with kids, plan-execute VBS at our parish, birthday. I didn't so much have a bucket-list this year. More like a big ToDo list with fun Stuff sprinkled throughout. 

4. What's the best thing on the radio right now?

I don't really like the radio because it generally leads to some discontent in my car. Music is hugely important and anna has recently decided she is all about the classical station much to the dismay of her siblings whoike to bicker over whether we should leave it on Taylor swift or Bruno Mars. I actually like Sam hunts "take your Time". I think it is sweet and it makes me smile. I think at this point in my life time seems so valuable. As a mamma it is in high demand. I willingly but strategically give my time away and see it as a gift, something to be shared, something to be valued. The kids hate the song. 

5. Ice cream or frozen yogurt?

I  definitely a frozen yogurt kind of gal. I love them both, but I feel less guilty with frozen yogurt I guess. I love making the cup myself and sprinkling my own toppings in just the right ratio. That said my absolute favorite is coldstone creamery's sweet cream and strawberries.  Back to those berries I guess!


6. Have you had that baby NOW? (Again, you can skip this one if you want.)

6 Tips on Handling Sibling Bickering

Maybe it is just me, but my kids seem to go through irregular cycles of bickering.  In the thick of summer it can get pretty bad.   I haven't been able to blame it food, or sleep, or the phases of the moon, or really anything else.  Some days, they just seem to want to fight.  You know it is bad when you have to tell the kids they are not allowed to speak to, or look at one another, which is what I found myself saying today.  I generally get annoyed and then irritated and then really angry and then I snap and end up yelling at them all leaving me annoyed with myself.  And they are back at it 5 minutes later.  So I got to thinking about what I SHOULD be doing instead...

1.  Get out of the house. Take them with you if you have too.  Take them to the park, or the library, or the McDonald's Playland - anywhere but home and preferably somewhere that serves coffee but also has a play-space large enough that they won't be bumping into one another constantly.

2.  Lock them outside.  If it is hot you can turn on the hose.  If it is cold... well.. tell them to grab their mittens if guess.  I live in Arizona so we don't have that problem.

3.  Lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath.  I never understood the "Calgon take me away!" commercials - now I get it.  When they start pounding on the door to tattle, just slip your head under the water or turn on the spout and you won't hear a thing.

Giving up Naps - a reflection

I cling to nap time.  It is my buoy in the ocean of life.  Naps give peace. Quiet.  The time to think and reflect.  The opportunity to write or nap or make phone calls or pick up the toys.  Or just finally sit down.

But naptime is a stage - it doesn't last forever.  And here we are, at that point, and nap time has got to go.

My firstborn didn't need as much sleep as I thought he should.  I tried to make him conform to all the books, worried sick that his brain wouldn't develop optimally without the set amount of sleep.  My husband finally pointed it out that he just doesn't need as much sleep as I want him to get.

I finished my dissertation with him playing quietly in his crib.  He was 18 months when he stopped napping on a regular basis.  He never complained, so I would leave him in his crib to get 'quiet time' while I wrote.  Every now and again he would actually fall asleep, but I think now that was due to sheer boredom.  Even now he needs less sleep than do I.

My second and third-borns are champion sleepers.  Gracie still naps about once a week and she turns 8 this summer.  She was one of those kids who really did sleep through the night before she hit her 2 month birthday.  JR wasn't quite that good, but still these two don't complain about going to bed at night and often are the last ones up.  They seem to like sleep, beds, pillows, all of that lovely stuff.

And then we have my adventuresome spirit. I wrote about protecting her naps and flexibility a while back (read more here).  Anna now takes her nap and sleeps well, but then she is a awake until 10 at night.  We tuck the girls in at 730 and (much like Anthony) then she lays in bed.  Or gets up and lays out her clothes (and her sister's clothes) for the next day.  Or she looks at books.  Or she asks for more water only to then need to go to the bathroom again.  And again.  Then she tries on shoes.  Then she is hungry.  Sometimes she is quiet and we think she fell asleep, only to find her laying in bed with her feet up on the wall just thinking.  The kids don't have toys in their rooms so her entertainment options are pretty limited, but sometimes she even gets dressed for the next day.  Good grief.

The Real Story: Miscarriage

Every few weeks I seem to get a prayer request for a fellow mom who has lost an unborn baby because of miscarriage.  Each time I find myself re-living my own experience, and I pray that my St. Lily and all those who make up the Army of Baby Saints will pray for these grieving moms.  The loss of every child is a unique experience, but knowing that I was not alone in my suffering brought great comfort when I needed it most.  I thought it was time I shared gave back too, and shared about how Lily came to be and left before any of us were able to hold her.  This is our story.  This is her story.

When we got married, Bob wanted two kids and I wanted three.  He used to say we compromised and had three, but then Anna came along so now with four kids we just laugh...

But back in the days before JR and Gracie and Anna, there was just a Mom and a Dad, and a little boy with blond hair and blue eyes.  We took our little Anthony with us on an adventure from Arizona to Oregon for a temporary relocation associated with my husband's work.  It was a wonderful time away.  I always thought I wanted to live where it rained a lot, and I had visions of playing with Anthony at the park every morning while I sipped my coffee wrapped in a lovely wool sweater.  I didn't realize the park would always be mushy and muddy and the swings and slides would be wet.  But I digress.  When we were about 1/2 way through our 10 month stay we decided we should have another baby.  Anthony was about 16 months old and I was finishing off my dissertation, eager to graduate and be called Dr. Hackett, if only by my little guy. 

As with Anthony, I conceived fairly easily.  We only told family about the pregnancy 'in case something happened'.  I don't think we really had any idea what that even meant.

Answer me this: My Dependable Dad

Building on last weeks Answer-me-this from Catholic All Year we have the Father's Day Edition.  Thanks for Kendra for hosting us in this fun link-up.  Be sure to check out the other answers to her great questions.

What is the best thing about your dad?

He is dependable. If he says he will be somewhere or do something he will.  He is wont get sick, or hurt, or forget, or change his mind, or flake out.  He will be there when you need him to be there.  I remember my grandmother hugging him at my grandfather’s funeral. She was pretty wrecked and she just leaned into him and turned to me.  She said “your dad is so dependable”. Even though that was 20 years ago the comment she made really stuck with me. 

What is the best thing about my kid’s father?

His love is so transparent in his actions. He loves to be with the kids and I.  Even when they (dare I say we) are a challenge… he doesn’t seem to need alone time, or away time. He just wants to be with us. 

What’s the best advice your dad ever gave you?

Keep the rifle butt tight against our shoulder when you shoot… or maybe to get a big bucket handy when I take apart the plumbing under the sink… or it could be his advice to always make sure you bring all the tools to the project at the start of the project…or to butter and toast both sides of a grilled cheese sandwich…I really could go on forever here.  My dad was/is full of practical advice. 

What’s something you have in common with your dad?

Peanut butter and spies.  I am a creamy peanut butter kind of girl and I love a good spy novel just like my dad.  I also would say we both like to keep busy. He always has a crazy number of different projects in motion and I too seem to have so much that I want to do!

What’s the manliest thing you know how to do?

Unclog a sink? Change a tire?  Lay a hardwood floor? Do those count? Just don’t tell anyone. I would rather not do those things!

Who is your favorite fictional dad?

I don’t really have one I don’t think.  I am really good at data-dumping fictional stuff. I read it or watch it and enjoy it, but then I don’t retain the characters or even frequently the plot.  One of my favorite characters in all of fiction is Jean Val Jean from Les Miserables.  He is a foster-adoptive father to I guess he would qualify.  Really my own dad is pretty much the stuff of legends so not even the fictional world can compare. 

Thanks for stopping by to think with me!