As I washed the dishes for the n-teeth time today I reminded myself that I was being intentional. We always said we wanted our home to be THE home where the kids wanted to gather.
It is one reason why we happily accepted a families gift of a fooze-ball table, and why we made the kids bunk up in one room when they were little in order to leave another room as a hang-out space.
It is why we make sure we always have frozen pizza, microwave popcorn, and loads of ramen in the pantry.
It is why I try to make sure the bathrooms aren't totally disgusting, dirty socks don't constantly litter the couch, and the little kids stay out of the way of the big kids.
I want our place to be a comfortable, welcoming, easy to be at home.
But it also requires that I say yes. I say yes to brining that extra mouth home to feed, even if it means adjusting my meal plan. It means I say yes to the cookie making and hot cocoa drinking and giggles in the living room, even though I am bone tired. It means I say yes when the team comes over for a polar-bear plunge after the game, even though there are a few more loads of towels to do now before bed.
When you have tweens or teens, staying connected with them means opening your home and your heart to their friends as well. They move in packs. They live a collective life. As my college son returned home this month it was his friends who are picked him up at the airport, then come over for a welcome home dinner.
These peers are the ones who challenge them in friendship, who teach them about loyalty. They learn to keep a secret, stand up for and sacrifice their time and attention for each other. They learn about themselves when they share their life with others. A good friend challenges your child to do and be better.
Saying yes to our children's friends gives us a chance to see our children in a different role. We see them as confidant, leader, cheer leader, compadre. We get a different glimpse of what type of person they are growing to be. But we only see this when we say yes, and invite those friends into our family.
So say yes to your kids and their friends, even if it complicates things for you. Say yes and connect with them. Get to know their friends and draw deeper into relationship with them all.
Thanks for stopping by!
