This question is a little haunting to those of us with kids old enough to form deep and lasting memories. Are these events of our time going to be catalysts for life changing, personality influencing, lasting effects on the psyche? Will our kids look back at this spring and reminisce like they do about a fun vacation or a failed camping trip? Will there be jokes about your sourdough starter? Will it influence their choice in occupation?
The answer is complicated, and largely unknown because we still don’t know yet how long this will last or what the large societal ripple effects will be.
It also will depend on the family as well and how each family is coping with the circumstances. We all know families that have been furloughed, lost jobs, seen dramatic increases in work hours, and everything in between. Each family will experience this differently because their circumstances are different.
Are their universals in how our kids remember this? Will there be what Developmental scientists call Cohort effects?
Some families are teaching their children the essentials of life 101 so their kids may will remember this as the time they learned how to cook, change a tire, clean a toilet, write a check, or do laundry. Some families are digging deep into daily mass, family prayer, and evening together time. We participated in the Marvel Movie Marathon, planted our garden, taught the girls how to play chess, and are trying to get some good exercise every day (the kids that is, not the adults).
Some families are teaching their children the essentials of life 101 so their kids may will remember this as the time they learned how to cook, change a tire, clean a toilet, write a check, or do laundry. Some families are digging deep into daily mass, family prayer, and evening together time. We participated in the Marvel Movie Marathon, planted our garden, taught the girls how to play chess, and are trying to get some good exercise every day (the kids that is, not the adults).
In general, within our home we have tried to maintain as much “normal” as possible. When I think to what my children will remember I think and hope they will remember the accessibility and nearness - longer conversations, the meals together, the walks.
But if we can all take a little of that closeness with us as we return to more social life, maybe they will remember this as a time when we stopped rushing so much, and took time to really see one another. To be present. To be loving. To be forgiving. And to grow in love as a family, even in the worries and stresses. It may be a time when our children grow in an appreciation of some of the more useful skills in life as they find themselves learning things they maybe wouldn't know otherwise. They may grow in their overall appreciation of community and maybe even of church and the Sacraments.
None of us have a crystal ball, so there is no way to knowing just how this time with impact our children. But greater time with the people who love you the most, saying no to the distraction and dizzying business of life, learning to resolve conflict and deal with issues as they come up (because really where are you going to go to escape?), is bound to leave a lasting impact and in a good way.
I know this is tough on us, and our children miss their friends, team mates, and classmates, but they still have the most important people of all right here. And they know it. So I think the children of this generation will really be okay, and they may even be all the better for it.
