Nothing is ideal now, but every time I open my phone screen I find a litany of complaints. I know it has become natural to complain to the masses, but the psychologist in me worries that the group mumbling and grumbling only feeds to the discontent we experience, rather than helping provide solutions.
Take schooling. This is the new big worry and the favorite thing to complain about. When are schools going back in person? What are we going to do with them distance learning? How are we going to tolerate this? Should teachers be forced to honor their contracts? Should they get hazard pay? Is the education gap growing before our eyes? Is digital living the new normal? How can colleges meet in person when kindergarteners are asked to meet online?
I share in the frustration as I look at an actual transformation in the experience of childhood. The scholar in me wonders about cohort effects future developmental
scientists will discover in my children's generation. One of my favorite
soccer coaches said he worries some of ‘his boys’ are going to have PTSD from
the months indoors and lack of contact with their friends and teammates. I
have a little more faith in the resiliency of youth, but enough concern to
incite the somewhat reluctant researcher in me to put together a few things
that all parents should be doing right now.
1. Be realistic about
what will and will not work. Look at
your school plan and ask yourself – can my child succeed in this environment
for more than a few days? If not, look for other options.
2. Don’t rule
anything out. In June, I completed a survey asking if I would be returning
to school or keep my child home, and how confident was I of that choice. I
responded that I was 100% confident I would be sending her to school. A month later I placed an order for
home-school curriculum for that same child.
Things change. Keep your options open.
3. Set them up to
succeed. If they are going to be home, make sure they have a good learning
set up. If they are online, make sure they have adequate resources, headphones,
blue light glasses, and most importantly - time away from the screen when they
aren’t required to be online. Show them how to reconnect if their calls are
dropped or they loose connection. Walk through various problem scenarios with
them and help them trouble shoot a solution. Help them learn to upload homework
independently or connect to the various classrooms themselves.
If they are going to be in school in person, make sure you
are both familiar with the changes they will find on campus this fall. Masks,
extra masks, social distancing, rules about play, socializing, recess, PE, extra
curricular activities, drop off and pick up procedures – they will all likely
be different than previous years.
4. Be ready to adapt.
Pre-Covid we were able to make parenting decisions based largely on our own
parenting styles and family culture. We now are at the mercy of politicians,
scientists, and the actual course of the virus.
Even if your school opens face-to-face, there is no guarantee it will
remain open. You may decide to keep your children home, only to discover it is
absolute torture for everyone involved. Maybe the hybrid model you select is
replaced with a different model a few months into the school year. You have to
adapt and be flexible, while providing as much consistency and stability in the
other areas of your child’s life. Keep meals, traditions, routines, rule,
schedules, as consistent as possible, leaving flexibility for the area where
you have little or no control.
This year is crazy. It has brought with it a huge
opportunity to learn much about our country, our family, and ourselves. The
solution of how to really thrive as a family in this climate is personal, just
as it was before the pandemic. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to any
parenting problem. As parents, we do the best when we recognize this and find
the best solution for each parent-child dyad. This extends in all areas of
parenting and especially in schooling this year. If you want some guidance on
choosing the best school option for your children check out this post - Choosingthe Right Schooling During a Pandemic.
