Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Surviving your child's puberty without becoming an alcoholic

Hello. My name is Dr Mom and I am the mother of a man-child.

I really think there should be a support group for mothers of pubescent children.  And maybe one for the kids too but school serves that purpose well enough.

I am just a few weeks into summer break and I need a break.  And so does he.  Aged 12 size 9.5 men's shoe. He can cook dinner, do laundry, work the BBQ, babysit & change diapers, but good grief- tell him he forgot to put the toilet seat down or tell him it is bedtime, or he is at the end of his video game time, and it is as if you declared war on his independence.

Defenses go up in the blink of an eye. Anger sets in before you have a chance to take your next breath.  How dare we parents correct or direct this pubescent boy!  

And that is when I realize he is just like me - in hormone mode. 

Well kind of because he has the added struggle of not having brain that fully functions.

But really he is just like me.  

Quick to anger.  Slow to admit mistakes.  Easily offended.  

I reached out to a friend who also has a man-child and she laughed.  Then she pointed out the obvious (which I had missed).  Boys need to exercise.  A lot.  That is my best weapon for combatting unreasonableness. 

And that got me thinking...I am insane when I don't get my gym time too. 

So now it is time to strategize.   I really can only speak to what it is like to have a pre-teen boy but I think that the solution may apply to both boys and girls.

What works for ME when I am being totally unreasonable?  What are my coping mechanisms?  

Coffee, yoga, sleep, good food, a good cardio workout, 
wine, mass (not in this order)

When am I most likely to be totally unreasonable?    

When I am dieting, hormonal, tired, 
stressed, and skipping my gym time.  

Let's apply those to my hormonal man-child.  I can't change his hormones any more than I can change my own, but I can change my perspective on the situation, and set him up to succeed.  

He needs to be exercising every day for at least an hour.  

He needs to be eating well.  

He needs to be going to sleep earlier 
(even though it is summer break). 

He needs to know the plan for the day 
because that reduces his personal stress. 

He needs a trip to the confessional.

And I need to give him a break sometimes without accepting his bad behavior.  We talked about it all today. I told him that I am completely unreasonable at times and I know it.  I keep those times to a minimum by practicing some healthy behaviors and he needs to do the same thing or we would both be totally unreasonable all summer long. Not a situation either of us wants. 

Thanks for stopping by to think with me!

For more on surviving the summer read this

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