Imagine just for a moment, that your parents were actually
PERFECT. Or worst yet, imagine that your
in-laws were perfect. Now when I
mean perfect, if don’t mean that they are destined for sainthood – I simply mean
they never made a mistake. They never forgot the keys, or tried to
mail a bill without putting on the stamp.
They were never late to pick you up or goofed on what day you had dance
class. They never dropped you off
at school while still their wearing slippers; they never lost their
temper. They never left the green
beans in the microwave only to be found the next morning. They never ran out of milk, or sent you
to school without your teeth brushed, or showed up to mass without a clean diaper
for the baby.
Can you imagine having to LIVE UP to that?
I bond with other mothers and with my own mother over my
mistakes and theirs. Sometimes
when they aren’t even aware.
I will find myself getting ready to loose it because we are, yet again,
late getting out of the house. And
I will think of my friend who is chronically 15 minutes late. And I will take a deep breath. She is a GREAT mother. When moms share their
mistakes or struggles with me it actually helps me be a better mother myself. It helps me be a mom who is less filled
with guilt, and stress, and unrealistic expectations of herself.
And as a daughter, I love knowing that my mom has ‘been
there done that’. She wasn’t perfect
but she was always trying her best.
And really, usually, our best IS enough. It certainly was for her.
While always striving to be better, we should have some
peace in our imperfections. Our
slip-ups make us more humble mothers; they also make our jobs a lot more
inviting and attractive to the little ones. Our children are able to see that even when we make mistakes
we can bounce back. Your mistake today will give them some allowance
for their own imperfection when they are parents themselves.
Next time you find yourself being less than you want to be, take
a deep breath, and give your children the
gift of your own imperfection.
