6 Tips for Talking
to Your Children About Evil
A priest recently rocked our little Catholic school when he delivered a
homily about the Devil. More specifically it was about childhood possession by
the Devil. If you are thinking “Yikes!” you aren’t alone. He didn’t beat around the subject, but rather
came right out describing his experience with a demonically possessed 6th
grade girl. In his discussion, he did a few really great things, which parents
can and should model when talking with their own children. First, he spoke
honestly about the presence of evil, and secondly, he gave the children
specific ways to guard oneself against evil. These two things, honestly and
hopefulness are both important components of any tough conversation with
children and are essential when talking to your children about evil.
It is important for children to know that evil does exist. And not the
far off, unrelated, impersonal sort of
“bad people do bad things sometimes”, or “Abortions happen because there
is evil in the world”. Kids need to know that real evil is our there. Don’t
lament or be dramatic in our presentation of the facts. Rather give your
children a concrete understanding of spiritual warfare and how it works. Just
as we talk with our children about helping them to hear the Holy Spirit in
their hearts, we need to help our children discern when the Devil is whispering
lies. The reality is that as children of God we know we will be under attack
but we also know that we will win. Here is how you can prepare your children…
1. Teach them
that the Devil Speaks Lies. Remind
your children when they are faced with conflict, anger, sadness, that the Devil
will whisper lies. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that Satan is “…a liar and the father of
lies…the deceiver of the whole world” (CCC2852). As a parent, you can help them to seek the
truth. They need to hear the lies for what they are – Lies! The lies are designed to break us away from
those with whom we share love. We need
to challenge the lies with the Truth from God.
We need to ask God to show us evidence of the opposite.
For example, if we are fighting with a sibling and we are angry it may
be tempting to believe “he hates me”. So
examine that evidence. Ask God - Does my
brother really hate me? Then open your heart to God’s evidence because He will
show you the truth: What about yesterday when he gave you his orange? What
about last night when you sat and played games together? What about last week
when he came to cheer you on at your game?
Find evidence to the contrary. God can show you that evidence, so invite
him to show you the truth. 1 John Chapter 4 provides instruction on discerning when the spirits we hear are from God or not from God. John tells us that any spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus does not belong to God. So bring Jesus into your conversation and He will bring clarity to it all and help us determine the "spirit of truth" from "the spirit of
2. Stay Away
from The Occult and Other Forms of Magic.
This is a hard one in our culture because “Magic” is found in books and
movies and even popular children stories. Many children grow up without an understanding
that witches do exist (although they don’t ride brooms or even closely resemble
those who attended Hogwarts). Any attempt to study or practice Black Magic is
off limits. Children should not play games in which they attempt to summon
spirits. They should not wear jewelry that offers them special powers. Teach
them that interest in The Occult serves as an invitation to evil. It is serious
and should not be trifled with.
If they show interest in spirits, help them to study and develop a
relationship with some of the saints. Many saints were given special skills by
God, like bilocation, incorruptibility, ecstasy, levitation and the gift of
tongues to name a few. They have some
pretty amazing stories! Get them a special saints medal and teach them how to
talk to ask for the intercession of the Saints. Use their interest in the
supernatural to bring them closer to God. Teach them the difference between
wearing a cross or medal or even a
scapular as a sign of respect and devotion, and wearing an amulet for special
powers.
3. God’s Grace
is Found in the Sacraments. We are given God’s grace through baptism and have
His continual Grace in the sacraments. Staying close to the Church, the Holy
Mass, and the Sacraments fills us with a sort of Holy Armor to defend against
attacks.
4. Stay Close
to God in Prayer. Most children can become pretty adept at rote
prayer. As they get older they develop the ability for more mental prayer and
can really transform their prayer life. Teaching our children rote prayers to
say when they are scared or overwhelmed is not only healthy, it provides them with
tools they need. Our family favorites
are The Guardian Angel Prayer and the Prayer to St. Michael. When the children get scared or have a hard
time sleeping they will often pray these two, a decade of the rosary, or repeat
the Our Father until they fall asleep. One of the lines in the Our Father is “deliver us from
Evil”. Calling on the name of Jesus is a powerful way to ward off the evil around us - so teach your little ones to pray.
5. Keep
blessing your children. Remind them that you bless them for a reason. When
you draw a cross on their foreheads you are recommitting them to Christ and
drawing the battle lines against evil. Your children should know that they are
branded for Christ.
6. Talk and
Don’t Stop. Children are
capable of much more than we give them credit for in our current culture. We
shelter them from the truths assuming they are too young for serious talks, but
the reality is that this shouldn’t be just one talk, but rather an ongoing
topic that your family can discuss on a regular basis. When they complain about
going to mass you remind them that the one hour they spend with Jesus is time
for their soul to be strengthened by His presence and His grace. They will need
that strength to turn from the temptations of evil. When they misbehave during
family prayers, gently remind them that developing a relationship with Jesus in
prayer will help them to hear His voice and discern what is true and good
versus what is evil. When they repeat the lies of the Devil (you don’t love
me!) remind them that the Devil is whispering lies in their ear. You would give
your life for them, and you gladly sacrifice daily for them.
Parents need to keep talking to, praying for, and giving blessings to
their children. Children need to develop
and ear for The Truth and learn how to discern truth from evil. They need to
understand the importance of prayer, The Sacraments, and The Church in keeping
them spiritually grounded. Parenting our children is hard. Ultimately our children will choose to follow
or to reject a relationship with Jesus.
Our job is to set them out on their path of holiness prepared for the
journey. Keeping the truth from them does not prepare them. God never leaves us and he has given us the
tools to for these encounters. So pass along the truth and equip the next
generation for good.
Possible
questions, responses and suggestions…
Is
the devil out to get me? The devil wants more followers, but
if you devote yourself to God, then the Devil can't get you. God lets us choose to follow Him (goodness) or
to turn away from good and turn to evil. Just choose God in your heart and your
deeds and you will be okay. In 1 John 5:18-19 it is written “but the one
begotten by God He protects, and the evil one can not touch him”.
I
am scared. Well it is pretty serious stuff but God tells us to Have
No Fear. He is always with us. And we each have a guardian angel to be with us
a guard against the devil at all times. So you have your own spiritual body
guard which is pretty cool!
What
if I mess up? God know everything and in His infinite wisdom he knew
that we would mess up. He gave us the sacrament of reconciliation to help wipe
away those sins. We all make little mistakes so each night we should think
about our day and pray to the Lord for forgiveness for the little mistakes we
are bound to make.
But
what about our loved ones who are not Catholic? It
is a little harder for non-Catholic Christians because they don't have the Grace
of the sacraments to give them spiritual strength. But God loves all of his
followers and if they have a strong prayer life and turn from Evil to Jesus
then God will keep them close too. God desires that we all serve Him and know Him
and love Him. That is why we were created. It is easier when you have the
fullness of the faith, but non-Catholics can still grow to know, love, and
serve God. And we can pray that they too will be brought into the fullness of
the faith so that they can fully participate in a sacramental life and do
things like take part in communion and reconciliation. But that is their own
choice and their own journey.
