Friday, August 28, 2015

What I Did on my Summer Vacation: Double-Dating in England




The kids are back in school (phew) and I have a moment to breathe in the serenity of a quiet (for now) home.  The last time I felt this relaxed was- oh, just a few weeks ago.  I had to look through my old posts to confirm the unbelievable - I hadn't yet blogged about the greatest, most fantastic part of my summer.  My instagram peeps got to see the best of the photos but now I realize that I never actually wrote a record of it.  So here goes...


What I did on my summer vacation





A few years back, my friend and her husband hatched a great plan for a dual-family vacation.  We were going to do something EPIC for our husbands 40th birthday and go to Europe.  All 6 of us and 10 of them.  It was going to be crazy - rent a villa, invite some more friends, and just hang out in the south of France or somewhere equally cool for a few weeks.

We got passports for all the kids.

We looked at amazing places to rent.

We looked at plane tickets.

Then we booked a place in California.

It turned out to be a wonderful vacation, but it certainly wasn't the European Get-Away of our dreams.

Fast-forward to spring, and these same friends are at it again talking this time about a couples trip to England.  Now England is one of my favorite places. I love

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Doing it Wrong: Back to school basics for the rest of us


I know I am doing it wrong... but as I sit in the morning stillness with my coffee on the stand beside me and the sound of the clicking of the computer keys I can't help myself.  JR, Gracie, and Anna are all snoozing peacefully in their beds.  Anthony left for a good 20 minutes ago.  Long enough for me to brew some coffee, eat a quiet breakfast, and check in with the morning news.

I know that I should be getting the kids up early today, but the thought is abhorrent to me.  Tomorrow at this time, they will all be scrubbed fresh, smelling of toothpaste or maple syrup, dressed in their blue shorts and blue shirts, hair still damp from their attempts to make it lay just right.  We will pile in the car and kick of their next school year.

But today I just want quiet.  I want them to sleep. I want them to relax. And yes, I want to relax too.  Just one more day before the craziness of two school drop off and pick up, gymnastics, piano, soccer, soccer and more soccer.

If I were asked the question "how should parents prepare their kids to go back to school?" the answer you get would be very different from what I am actually doing.

Bedtimes
The best way to prepare kids to go back to school is by helping them reset their personal sleep clocks. Kids need to have regularity in their lives and setting their sleep schedules is the best way to regulate other stuff naturally.  Regular bedtimes are touted as the key to getting kids up and off to school bright-eyed and ready to learn.  If you are like many homes and have loosed the bed-time for your kiddos in the summer months, moving back towards their normal bedtime in small increments can be helpful.  Putting your kids to bed 20-30 minutes earlier every few days can gently ease them back into a place where they are prepared to go to be at 8 or 9 and wake up ready for their school day.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Boy's Adventure Race




A few months ago, before school got out and the heat set in, Anthony was invited to a Boy's Adventure Race.  Adventure is something that we seem to be lacking in our family.  Growing up we had a healthy dose of it.  My family's our chosen summer vacation each year was Lake Powell. We would spend hours swimming, hiking, exploring the canyons and generally just relaxing in God's Big Playground.  We didn't do this in an opulent houseboat.  We camped on the beach, got sand in everything, hunkered down and held onto the tentpoles in the monsoon storms, and watched the waves and weather before heading out in my dad's little boat.  They were character-building experiences. When we weren't at the lake, we were camping at remote spots in the woods - replete with bears and snakes and spiders oh my. The beauty of His world and the danger posed by nature were two realities that was clearly evident my early years whenever we would venture out. 

This is not something that my kids have experienced much.  I married an amazing man who is not fond of the outdoors.  We don't own a cooking stove, although I think we probably have a tent somewhere in the garage. Sharing a sense of adventure with my kids therefore has been a bit more of a challenge, particularly since I would rather sleep on a bed of feathers than a bed of pine needles.  I have taken the kids camping a few times with my family, and they boys went with my brother this summer, but other than that they have been a bit lacking in the adventure department. So when I got the invitation for Evan to join a friend's team I responded yes without even asking him.



Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Surviving your child's puberty without becoming an alcoholic




Hello. My name is Dr Mom and I am the mother of a man-child.

I really think there should be a support group for mothers of pubescent children.  And maybe one for the kids too but school serves that purpose well enough.


I am just a few weeks into summer break and I need a break.  And so does he.  Aged 12 size 9.5 men's shoe. He can cook dinner, do laundry, work the BBQ, babysit & change diapers, but good grief- tell him he forgot to put the toilet seat down or tell him it is bedtime, or he is at the end of his video game time, and it is as if you declared war on his independence.


Defenses go up in the blink of an eye. Anger sets in before you have a chance to take your next breath.  How dare we parents correct or direct this pubescent boy!  


And that is when I realize he is just like me - in hormone mode. 


Well kind of because he has the added struggle of not having brain that fully functions.


Saturday, August 8, 2015

Burying our Babies


When I lost my little Lily to miscarriage 10 years ago I really didn't know what to do.  Sure the doctor had given me clinical instructions.  I was given some pills and told to go home and I would 'pass the tissue' and it would be over.  She didn't tell me the pills she gave me would actually induce labor, I would labor at home for hours in pain, and then be left with a little corpse.  The actual baby she referred callously to as tissue.  Even in the latest planned parenthood videos they call the babies "babies".  But the doctor never told me what I was supposed to DO with my little baby once she came out.

The doctor looked into my tear stained, red, swollen face and told me to just pass the tissue at home.

 Once my miscarriage was over, what was I to do with the babies body?

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Running Away


I ran away tonight.

Full retreat. Glass of ice water in my hand.

Everyone was having fun. No one was listening.  We were trying to get the kitchen cleaned up and everyone (but me) was having an awesome time.  My husband had taken Anna to wash her feet after getting bit by an ant, and I was alone with 3 joyful but disobedient kids. I was the only one working and this was THEIR responsibility in the first place.

So I ran away.  They protested at first, knowing now that I wasn't there to help it would take much longer.  But I was done.





"I am leaving. You are on your own to clean this all up. 
Dishes unloaded, reloaded, counters wiped, trash taken out".  

They protested just enough and then they just cranked up the music and got it done.  It took them a good 20 minutes but they were happy.  Dad joined them to loosely oversee and the laughter echoed down the hall.  It lightened my heart but also made me a little sad.

Sometimes I just need to get out of the way.  I need to let them succeed or fail. I need to step back and let them have fun serving joyfully in their own way.

I wish I could be The Mom who doesn't micromanage.  After a week of planning and managing people and time schedules and curriculums for Vacation Bible School, this first day at home I am trying to step back and just relax, but it is tough. I wish I could be more fun and in-the-moment. But I am really afraid if I did that my kids would NEVER get to bed, my husband and I would NEVER get any alone time, and my house would look and smell like a toxic-waste dump.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Growing Through Giving: VBS 2015


When I first saw the email from our Pastor I thought "no way" and I deleted it.

I didn't even consider taking on a leadership role with Vacation Bible School.  Our RE director wasn't able to run it this year and it looked like it wasn't going to happen at all.  I didn't give it much thought and moved on to the emails from Groupon (which I just delete) and Blessed is She (which I devour).  And then I got the text from my best friend Nellie (who is also the photographer for all these quick pics from the week) saying

"We are doing this right?" 

And by 'this' she meant VBS. Cue crickets chirping.

A few nights later as a group of us gathered in her house for our normal Women's Group she called us to task.  If we want a program, and we want it done a certain way, we need to step up and do it.  Now I have written elsewhere about serving in our parish.  About starting a ministry, about teaching our kids to serve... I am not shy about stepping up when I can.  But running a VBS program with just a few months to plan is a huge endeavor and not something I was really sure we could pull off.   Summer was going to be my time to relax, not get crazy busy in the 110 degree heat.

Can you see little Anna in the background? 
Someone must have been praying about it because we did say yes and we found more amazing women and teens to say yes.
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