Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Illusion of Control

Last week I had a really bad day.  Well it wasn't a bad day so much as a bad afternoon/evening.  It was followed with a fabulous afternoon/evening the next day.  The contrast between the two days and how I planned for those days was startling!  But I get ahead of myself…

Here is the set up.  Kids have soccer practice (again) but since we are now doing this 4 nights a week (sigh) I am really trying to implement strategies that get us to all eat healthy and get some time with my hubby as well.  So before the kids are even out of school I have some homemade chicken and rice soup in the crockpot.  I get the munchkins home, and spend an hour or so goading them to get their homework done, clothes changed, water bottles filled and bags repacked for practice.  I load up my crockpot, drinks and all that, and we set out for the park.  I unload the kids and the crockpot and the drinks and the bags and get everything all set up.  The boys take off, Hubby is milling around talking to the other coaches, so the girls and I dish out the soup.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Image Crafting

Image Crafting.  We are all guilty of it to some degree.  Maybe you do it in your day-to-day interactions, maybe you do it online in your Facebook or on your blog… Image crafting is a so easy to do and so dangerous for you as an individual, for your friendships, and even for our society as a whole.  It steals the authenticity away from our lives and prevents us from sharing our uniqueness and beauty with others whilst at the same time breeding competition and unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others.  How does this secret danger lurking in our lives manifest itself...

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Big Move

We have successfully moved 3 kids from a crib to a big bed.  When I say "successfully" I mean that we don't have kids in bed with us.  Ever.   Well unless it is just for snuggle time once we are awake.  But not to sleep.  I am a horribly light sleeper. I make the Princess (and the Pea) look like Rip Van Winkle.  Any light, any sound, any thing out of the norm and I am wide awake.   So when the kids start in their big beds they have all stayed there because the option is that mommy doesn't sleep.  And that is not pretty at ALL!  There is no sneaking out or tears at bed time.  Low drama.  Which is why slightly concerned with this next 'big move' -  I am breaking our rules and we are going with a different approach.

Monday, March 17, 2014

The Great Escape: Phase One - Passports

I think the State Department has employed underhanded techniques in order to reduce the number of idiots from traveling internationally.  Idiots and large families that is.  Getting the passports is the first gauntlet to pass and we almost didn’t pass the idiot test.  

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Laying Flint to Rest


We laid to rest our first family pet this week.  Our sweet Flint.  He was an amazing pet.  Really.  I don’t exaggerate when I say he was the BEST dog ever. Some of you may disagree but you are just wrong because you have never known Flint.  His one failing is that he wouldn’t die on his own. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

Boys in Pink Skirts and PigTails

Sex, Gender, and Identity Development



This week a friend asked me to write about boys and gender identity.  Well, actually, she asked me for advice regarding s 3 year old’s classmate who wears pink skirts, sparkly shoes, hair in pig-tails -and is a boy.  Honestly is it painful to try to lay this out in one blog piece because it is such a HUGE topic. 

But it is easiest if we tease apart some terms first:  Sexual Identity is whether you are a male or female.  Gender Identity is a continuum of masculinity and feminity.  You can be more effeminate man and still be a man.  Self-concept is how one feels about their identity. We aren't really going to talk about Self-concept but it is my area of specialty so I figured I would throw that in too. Bonus for today. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Gift of a Less-than-perfect Parent

Imagine just for a moment, that your parents were actually PERFECT.  Or worst yet, imagine that your in-laws were perfect.  Now when I mean perfect, if don’t mean that they are destined for sainthood – I simply mean they never made a mistake.  They never forgot the keys, or tried to mail a bill without putting on the stamp.  They were never late to pick you up or goofed on what day you had dance class.  They never dropped you off at school while still their wearing slippers; they never lost their temper.  They never left the green beans in the microwave only to be found the next morning.  They never ran out of milk, or sent you to school without your teeth brushed, or showed up to mass without a clean diaper for the baby. 

Can you imagine having to LIVE UP to that? 

I bond with other mothers and with my own mother over my mistakes and theirs.  Sometimes when they aren’t even aware.   I will find myself getting ready to loose it because we are, yet again, late getting out of the house.  And I will think of my friend who is chronically 15 minutes late.  And I will take a deep breath.  She is a GREAT mother.  When moms share their mistakes or struggles with me it actually helps me be a better mother myself.  It helps me be a mom who is less filled with guilt, and stress, and unrealistic expectations of herself. 

And as a daughter, I love knowing that my mom has ‘been there done that’.  She wasn’t perfect but she was always trying her best.  And really, usually, our best IS enough. It certainly was for her.  

While always striving to be better, we should have some peace in our imperfections.  Our slip-ups make us more humble mothers; they also make our jobs a lot more inviting and attractive to the little ones.  Our children are able to see that even when we make mistakes we can bounce back.   Your mistake today will give them some allowance for their own imperfection when they are parents themselves. 


Next time you find yourself being less than you want to be, take a deep breath, and give your children the gift of your own imperfection.    
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...