Last week I had a really bad day. Well it wasn't a bad day so much as a bad afternoon/evening. It was followed with a fabulous afternoon/evening the next day. The contrast between the two days and how I planned for those days was startling! But I get ahead of myself…
Here is the set up. Kids have soccer practice (again) but since we are now doing this 4 nights a week (sigh) I am really trying to implement strategies that get us to all eat healthy and get some time with my hubby as well. So before the kids are even out of school I have some homemade chicken and rice soup in the crockpot. I get the munchkins home, and spend an hour or so goading them to get their homework done, clothes changed, water bottles filled and bags repacked for practice. I load up my crockpot, drinks and all that, and we set out for the park. I unload the kids and the crockpot and the drinks and the bags and get everything all set up. The boys take off, Hubby is milling around talking to the other coaches, so the girls and I dish out the soup.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Image Crafting
Image Crafting. We are all guilty of it to some degree. Maybe you do it in your day-to-day interactions, maybe you do it online in your Facebook or on your blog… Image crafting is a so easy to do and so dangerous for you as an individual, for your friendships, and even for our society as a whole. It steals the authenticity away from our lives and prevents us from sharing our uniqueness and beauty with others whilst at the same time breeding competition and unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. How does this secret danger lurking in our lives manifest itself...
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The Big Move
We have successfully moved 3 kids from a crib to a big bed. When I say "successfully" I mean that we don't have kids in bed with us. Ever. Well unless it is just for snuggle time once we are awake. But not to sleep. I am a horribly light sleeper. I make the Princess (and the Pea) look like Rip Van Winkle. Any light, any sound, any thing out of the norm and I am wide awake. So when the kids start in their big beds they have all stayed there because the option is that mommy doesn't sleep. And that is not pretty at ALL! There is no sneaking out or tears at bed time. Low drama. Which is why slightly concerned with this next 'big move' - I am breaking our rules and we are going with a different approach.
Monday, March 17, 2014
The Great Escape: Phase One - Passports
I think the State Department has employed underhanded
techniques in order to reduce the number of idiots from traveling
internationally. Idiots and large
families that is. Getting the
passports is the first gauntlet to pass and we almost didn’t pass the idiot
test.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Laying Flint to Rest
We laid to rest our first family pet this week. Our sweet Flint. He was an amazing pet. Really. I don’t exaggerate when I say he was the BEST dog ever.
Some of you may disagree but you are just wrong because you have never known
Flint. His one failing is that he
wouldn’t die on his own.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Boys in Pink Skirts and PigTails
Sex, Gender, and Identity Development
This week a friend asked me to write about boys and gender
identity. Well, actually, she
asked me for advice regarding s 3 year old’s classmate who wears pink skirts,
sparkly shoes, hair in pig-tails -and is a boy. Honestly is it painful to try to lay this out in one blog piece because it is such a HUGE topic.
But it is easiest if we tease apart some terms first: Sexual Identity is whether you are a
male or female. Gender Identity is
a continuum of masculinity and feminity.
You can be more effeminate man and still be a man. Self-concept is how one feels about
their identity. We aren't really going to talk about Self-concept but it is my area of specialty so I figured I would throw that in too. Bonus for today.
Monday, March 3, 2014
The Gift of a Less-than-perfect Parent
Imagine just for a moment, that your parents were actually
PERFECT. Or worst yet, imagine that your
in-laws were perfect. Now when I
mean perfect, if don’t mean that they are destined for sainthood – I simply mean
they never made a mistake. They never forgot the keys, or tried to
mail a bill without putting on the stamp.
They were never late to pick you up or goofed on what day you had dance
class. They never dropped you off
at school while still their wearing slippers; they never lost their
temper. They never left the green
beans in the microwave only to be found the next morning. They never ran out of milk, or sent you
to school without your teeth brushed, or showed up to mass without a clean diaper
for the baby.
Can you imagine having to LIVE UP to that?
I bond with other mothers and with my own mother over my
mistakes and theirs. Sometimes
when they aren’t even aware.
I will find myself getting ready to loose it because we are, yet again,
late getting out of the house. And
I will think of my friend who is chronically 15 minutes late. And I will take a deep breath. She is a GREAT mother. When moms share their
mistakes or struggles with me it actually helps me be a better mother myself. It helps me be a mom who is less filled
with guilt, and stress, and unrealistic expectations of herself.
And as a daughter, I love knowing that my mom has ‘been
there done that’. She wasn’t perfect
but she was always trying her best.
And really, usually, our best IS enough. It certainly was for her.
While always striving to be better, we should have some
peace in our imperfections. Our
slip-ups make us more humble mothers; they also make our jobs a lot more
inviting and attractive to the little ones. Our children are able to see that even when we make mistakes
we can bounce back. Your mistake today will give them some allowance
for their own imperfection when they are parents themselves.
Next time you find yourself being less than you want to be, take
a deep breath, and give your children the
gift of your own imperfection.
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